My C-Section Birth by Jennifer Lindsay
**Warning: Graphic Birth Pictures**
C-sections how many times have I heard people tell me “Oh you took the easy way out”. I am here to bust that myth!
I did not go into pregnancy wanting a c-section; in fact I was pretty against it. I wanted a natural drug free birth that ended with me puffing, panting and pushing my baby out with him being placed on my chest for those first precious moments of his life.
Never in my life did I envision walking into an operating theatre, having an epidural and having my baby delivered by a surgeon. But I guess life never goes to plan.
So here is my c-section story – the good, the bad and the worst.
From the moment those two lines appeared my blood pressure went through the roof. I had never had an issue with it prior to being pregnant so when I went for my first check up with my obstetrician I was really shocked to see it was high. Granted I was 35kg+ overweight but I was actually pretty healthy. I never got colds, my BP was always normal and I didn’t have a cholesterol problem. I was the case that always shocked my GP’s. They would instantly assume I had all of these problems just by looking at me. It was always great satisfaction seeing their faces when my blood results came back or when the gauge on the blood pressure machine showed I was telling the truth.
My first check up was at 14 weeks. I had no morning sickness and was feeling ok except for the headaches which I was told was due to my blood pressure. My doctor told me very firmly that I was not to put on any weight during my pregnancy. I already knew I didn’t want to get any bigger so I had completely cut out all junk food from my diet and that is how I lived the rest of my pregnancy. My one treat was a chocolate and a coke once a week. But other than that it was fresh food, vegies and water all the way!
Over the course of my pregnancy the scales didn’t move. I stayed exactly the same weight as the first day I walked into my OB’s office. I was very proud that even though I had a big wombat inside of me, I was not gaining any weight so it actually meant I was losing it. Unfortunately it had no positive impact on my blood pressure and by 20 weeks I was already on the highest doses of medication you could give a pregnant women.
By 20 weeks I was already on fortnightly visits to my OB and by 30 weeks those visits became weekly. My blood pressure stayed stable but stable was still in the very high range of normal so the doctor was very careful to make sure it didn’t spill over.
By 35 weeks I looked like a beached whale, while I had started out overweight already and already lost somewhere around 15kg I was so swollen and big that I was constantly asked “are you sure there’s only one?”. If I had a dollar for every time I was asked that .... well I would probably have about $20. But still, I was so sick of people thinking I was having twins and so sick of waddling like a pregnant duck. Because my blood pressure was so high I was always feeling like my head was going to explode. So by the time my 36 week check came I was ready for this baby to come out!
My doctor had mentioned a c-section during previous visits and I had always pushed the idea aside. I wanted my natural birth, I would take an epidural if I needed it but I was having a vaginal birth and there was nothing she could say or do that would change my mind.
At the 36 week check she sat me down for a chat. She told me my blood pressure was high, baby was still very high and showed no signs of dropping and I didn’t have a great body shape for a vaginal birth. I am pretty narrow in the hips ( I look like a swimmer .... massive shoulders and small hips). She told me that while I could have a vaginal birth the chances of it being successful were slim and it would be a very long and painful birth that would more than likely require induction. She advised I would need a c-section and that would be the safest option.
I reluctantly scheduled the date on my way out and left in tears. I felt completely ripped off. I had my heart set on a vaginal birth, my labour bag was packed and this “women” was telling me I couldn’t have it.
By this stage I officially had pre-eclampsia. I was full of fluid and had small traces of protein in my urine, partnered my high blood pressure.
I went home and cried for 2 hours straight. All of my dreams out the door in one appointment. I decided to log on to the forum and talk to some of the other girls about it. They were all really helpful and told me to fight it. I found loads of information about induction and decided there was no way I was having a c-section. She would have to strap me to the bed!
At 37 weeks I went back to my OB, this time my Mum came with me. I marched in her office ready to talk business. I knew what I wanted and I was going to get it .... FULL STOP!
So I sat down and burst into tears .... tough I know LOL. I told her how I felt I was not being given a chance to prove myself. That I wanted a vaginal birth and I wanted her to induce me earlier and let me give it a go myself. If it ended in a c-section then so be it.
She listened and handed me tissues and then described the labour I would have. She told me I would be induced with the gel, my cervix is so long and closed that she was sure that would not work. Next they would move to the drip and my contractions would come hard and fast, if they could they would break my waters speeding up the contractions. Because baby was still so high she said it was unlikely he would engage during labour meaning I would have a very long pushing stage. She said that in her experience she doubted I would even get that far and she was sure I would end up with a c-section before they could even break my waters.
I turned to my Mum and saw tears in her eyes. She looked at me and said “that’s exactly the labour I had with you”. I knew my Mum had a tough labour with me but it was strange hearing it play by play from my own doctor who does not know my mother at all. My doctor was not surprised and talked to my Mum about her labour. My doctor told me this is the labour I would end up with and that my Mum should have had a c-section in the end rather than being left to push me out after days of labour.
I asked if she would induce me and give me a go and she turned to me and told me that I would need to find a new OB if I wanted a vaginal birth. She told me it was a huge risk for me and my baby and that she was not willing to risk it.
I walked out feeling a little better. I really thought she would cave, induce me and see how it went. But the fact that she was so forceful and told me she was not willing to do it made me see that maybe she was right. Who was I to argue with a woman who delivers hundreds of babies a year? She was there to protect me and if she thought it was dangerous – so dangerous that she told me to find a different OB, then maybe she was right. So the date was set December 5th 2008 was the day we would meet our beautiful boy. The day started like any other. I slept surprisingly well the night before and woke to my alarm in the morning. I didn’t have to be there until 11am so I relaxed and pottered around the house. I wrote my baby a letter and shared the feelings I felt that morning and put it in my pregnancy diary.
We drove to the hospital and I did my admission checks. They weighed me and I was 3kg lighter than the day I fell pregnant and my BP was still really high. It was very surreal waiting in the waiting room to be called. I got talking to a few people sitting next to me and they asked “so what are you in for?”. When I told them I was having a baby at 1pm they “gasped”. It felt so strange, here I was waiting in a waiting room to have my baby like people wait in a dentist office for a teeth clean. Finally the time came and it was my turn. I kissed my family goodbye and walked off to the theatre. I was wheeled into the anaesthetics bay and introduced to my anaesthetist and the technician. They were both really lovely and I was instantly relaxed. The midwife followed shortly after with the theatre nurse and there were laughs and smiles all around. I really felt at ease. The part I had been dreading was the epidural. I couldn’t even look at the needle in our pre-natal class. So when the time came I was on the verge of a hysterical breakdown. Honestly if childbirth was a waterslide I would have used the “chicken out” exit right then! But I was brave and had an amazing team around me to distract me. The local he injected hurt; it felt like being stung by bee’s about 10 times! But after that I felt nothing .... honestly nothing. I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes closed and 3 minutes later I said “ok tell me when you’re going to do it” to which he replied “it’s done, just lay back and tell me when you feel your legs going numb”. Honestly I was shocked ... that’s it? All of my fear was built up to .... nothing? So there I was with my pain free epidural inserted ready to be pushed into theatre.
Ok so here is where it all went downhill.
I am sure it must have been a scene from Greys Anatomy. There I am ready to be pushed into my theatre that had been lovingly prepared for me, when an emergency comes through. Not just any emergency but a life and death guy hit in the head by a surfboard emergency.
So there I am numb from my chest down, twiddling my fingers waiting to be told it was my turn. We waited about 15 minutes and then all of a sudden the fire alarm starts going off.
Here I am numb, unable to move and the evacuation sirens are blaring. I panicked but was reassured that the exit was right next to us if we had to get out and that theatre is always the last to be evacuated.
After 10 more minutes of blaring alarms it finally stops. Later I found out the fireman were called and it was a bit of drama for nothing!
Even though the alarms had stopped I still had to wait. In total I waited just over an hour before being wheeled in to surgery. I was lifted on to the table and given some oxygen.
The next thing I know my OB is next to me asking if I am ready to meet my baby boy. The start of the operation was fine. Lots of pushing and it felt like a lifetime, but I am sure it was only 5 minutes.
I remember asking the anaesthetist if I could see my baby be born. I didn’t want to see him held over the screen I actually wanted to see him come out of my belly. So just as the OB was about to pull him out, they pulled down the screen and I got to see my beautiful boy being born.
From then on it is a little hazy. I remember it but I don’t remember details. I don’t remember if my boy cried when he came out (hubby said he did), I don’t really remember much except them bringing him to me to have a cuddle.
I am a big fan of the TV show Friends and in one of the last episodes Monica and Chandler have a baby through a surrogate. When she holds her baby boy for the first time she says “I’m going to love you so much, no women will ever be good enough for you”. I always liked that and told myself if I had a son, those would be my first words to him .... and they were.
C-sections how many times have I heard people tell me “Oh you took the easy way out”. I am here to bust that myth!
I did not go into pregnancy wanting a c-section; in fact I was pretty against it. I wanted a natural drug free birth that ended with me puffing, panting and pushing my baby out with him being placed on my chest for those first precious moments of his life.
Never in my life did I envision walking into an operating theatre, having an epidural and having my baby delivered by a surgeon. But I guess life never goes to plan.
So here is my c-section story – the good, the bad and the worst.
From the moment those two lines appeared my blood pressure went through the roof. I had never had an issue with it prior to being pregnant so when I went for my first check up with my obstetrician I was really shocked to see it was high. Granted I was 35kg+ overweight but I was actually pretty healthy. I never got colds, my BP was always normal and I didn’t have a cholesterol problem. I was the case that always shocked my GP’s. They would instantly assume I had all of these problems just by looking at me. It was always great satisfaction seeing their faces when my blood results came back or when the gauge on the blood pressure machine showed I was telling the truth.
My first check up was at 14 weeks. I had no morning sickness and was feeling ok except for the headaches which I was told was due to my blood pressure. My doctor told me very firmly that I was not to put on any weight during my pregnancy. I already knew I didn’t want to get any bigger so I had completely cut out all junk food from my diet and that is how I lived the rest of my pregnancy. My one treat was a chocolate and a coke once a week. But other than that it was fresh food, vegies and water all the way!
Over the course of my pregnancy the scales didn’t move. I stayed exactly the same weight as the first day I walked into my OB’s office. I was very proud that even though I had a big wombat inside of me, I was not gaining any weight so it actually meant I was losing it. Unfortunately it had no positive impact on my blood pressure and by 20 weeks I was already on the highest doses of medication you could give a pregnant women.
By 20 weeks I was already on fortnightly visits to my OB and by 30 weeks those visits became weekly. My blood pressure stayed stable but stable was still in the very high range of normal so the doctor was very careful to make sure it didn’t spill over.
By 35 weeks I looked like a beached whale, while I had started out overweight already and already lost somewhere around 15kg I was so swollen and big that I was constantly asked “are you sure there’s only one?”. If I had a dollar for every time I was asked that .... well I would probably have about $20. But still, I was so sick of people thinking I was having twins and so sick of waddling like a pregnant duck. Because my blood pressure was so high I was always feeling like my head was going to explode. So by the time my 36 week check came I was ready for this baby to come out!
My doctor had mentioned a c-section during previous visits and I had always pushed the idea aside. I wanted my natural birth, I would take an epidural if I needed it but I was having a vaginal birth and there was nothing she could say or do that would change my mind.
At the 36 week check she sat me down for a chat. She told me my blood pressure was high, baby was still very high and showed no signs of dropping and I didn’t have a great body shape for a vaginal birth. I am pretty narrow in the hips ( I look like a swimmer .... massive shoulders and small hips). She told me that while I could have a vaginal birth the chances of it being successful were slim and it would be a very long and painful birth that would more than likely require induction. She advised I would need a c-section and that would be the safest option.
I reluctantly scheduled the date on my way out and left in tears. I felt completely ripped off. I had my heart set on a vaginal birth, my labour bag was packed and this “women” was telling me I couldn’t have it.
By this stage I officially had pre-eclampsia. I was full of fluid and had small traces of protein in my urine, partnered my high blood pressure.
I went home and cried for 2 hours straight. All of my dreams out the door in one appointment. I decided to log on to the forum and talk to some of the other girls about it. They were all really helpful and told me to fight it. I found loads of information about induction and decided there was no way I was having a c-section. She would have to strap me to the bed!
At 37 weeks I went back to my OB, this time my Mum came with me. I marched in her office ready to talk business. I knew what I wanted and I was going to get it .... FULL STOP!
So I sat down and burst into tears .... tough I know LOL. I told her how I felt I was not being given a chance to prove myself. That I wanted a vaginal birth and I wanted her to induce me earlier and let me give it a go myself. If it ended in a c-section then so be it.
She listened and handed me tissues and then described the labour I would have. She told me I would be induced with the gel, my cervix is so long and closed that she was sure that would not work. Next they would move to the drip and my contractions would come hard and fast, if they could they would break my waters speeding up the contractions. Because baby was still so high she said it was unlikely he would engage during labour meaning I would have a very long pushing stage. She said that in her experience she doubted I would even get that far and she was sure I would end up with a c-section before they could even break my waters.
I turned to my Mum and saw tears in her eyes. She looked at me and said “that’s exactly the labour I had with you”. I knew my Mum had a tough labour with me but it was strange hearing it play by play from my own doctor who does not know my mother at all. My doctor was not surprised and talked to my Mum about her labour. My doctor told me this is the labour I would end up with and that my Mum should have had a c-section in the end rather than being left to push me out after days of labour.
I asked if she would induce me and give me a go and she turned to me and told me that I would need to find a new OB if I wanted a vaginal birth. She told me it was a huge risk for me and my baby and that she was not willing to risk it.
I walked out feeling a little better. I really thought she would cave, induce me and see how it went. But the fact that she was so forceful and told me she was not willing to do it made me see that maybe she was right. Who was I to argue with a woman who delivers hundreds of babies a year? She was there to protect me and if she thought it was dangerous – so dangerous that she told me to find a different OB, then maybe she was right. So the date was set December 5th 2008 was the day we would meet our beautiful boy. The day started like any other. I slept surprisingly well the night before and woke to my alarm in the morning. I didn’t have to be there until 11am so I relaxed and pottered around the house. I wrote my baby a letter and shared the feelings I felt that morning and put it in my pregnancy diary.
We drove to the hospital and I did my admission checks. They weighed me and I was 3kg lighter than the day I fell pregnant and my BP was still really high. It was very surreal waiting in the waiting room to be called. I got talking to a few people sitting next to me and they asked “so what are you in for?”. When I told them I was having a baby at 1pm they “gasped”. It felt so strange, here I was waiting in a waiting room to have my baby like people wait in a dentist office for a teeth clean. Finally the time came and it was my turn. I kissed my family goodbye and walked off to the theatre. I was wheeled into the anaesthetics bay and introduced to my anaesthetist and the technician. They were both really lovely and I was instantly relaxed. The midwife followed shortly after with the theatre nurse and there were laughs and smiles all around. I really felt at ease. The part I had been dreading was the epidural. I couldn’t even look at the needle in our pre-natal class. So when the time came I was on the verge of a hysterical breakdown. Honestly if childbirth was a waterslide I would have used the “chicken out” exit right then! But I was brave and had an amazing team around me to distract me. The local he injected hurt; it felt like being stung by bee’s about 10 times! But after that I felt nothing .... honestly nothing. I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes closed and 3 minutes later I said “ok tell me when you’re going to do it” to which he replied “it’s done, just lay back and tell me when you feel your legs going numb”. Honestly I was shocked ... that’s it? All of my fear was built up to .... nothing? So there I was with my pain free epidural inserted ready to be pushed into theatre.
Ok so here is where it all went downhill.
I am sure it must have been a scene from Greys Anatomy. There I am ready to be pushed into my theatre that had been lovingly prepared for me, when an emergency comes through. Not just any emergency but a life and death guy hit in the head by a surfboard emergency.
So there I am numb from my chest down, twiddling my fingers waiting to be told it was my turn. We waited about 15 minutes and then all of a sudden the fire alarm starts going off.
Here I am numb, unable to move and the evacuation sirens are blaring. I panicked but was reassured that the exit was right next to us if we had to get out and that theatre is always the last to be evacuated.
After 10 more minutes of blaring alarms it finally stops. Later I found out the fireman were called and it was a bit of drama for nothing!
Even though the alarms had stopped I still had to wait. In total I waited just over an hour before being wheeled in to surgery. I was lifted on to the table and given some oxygen.
The next thing I know my OB is next to me asking if I am ready to meet my baby boy. The start of the operation was fine. Lots of pushing and it felt like a lifetime, but I am sure it was only 5 minutes.
I remember asking the anaesthetist if I could see my baby be born. I didn’t want to see him held over the screen I actually wanted to see him come out of my belly. So just as the OB was about to pull him out, they pulled down the screen and I got to see my beautiful boy being born.
From then on it is a little hazy. I remember it but I don’t remember details. I don’t remember if my boy cried when he came out (hubby said he did), I don’t really remember much except them bringing him to me to have a cuddle.
I am a big fan of the TV show Friends and in one of the last episodes Monica and Chandler have a baby through a surrogate. When she holds her baby boy for the first time she says “I’m going to love you so much, no women will ever be good enough for you”. I always liked that and told myself if I had a son, those would be my first words to him .... and they were.
He was quickly whisked away and hubby followed under my instruction. As soon as they left it was like I finally remembered what was happening. I was still being stitched up and my OB was working hard. It hit me like a rock .... I was in pain.
Pain I had never felt before, I felt like my insides were being ripped apart and I could feel every stitch my OB was making. I told my anaesthetist this and I felt like I was going to black out. He gave me pain medication and begged me to have a GA. I cried and refused. There was no way I was going to go to sleep, I wanted to see my baby and I didn’t want to spend hours in recovery after a GA.
So god only knows how I did it but for 10 minutes I gritted my teeth, cried in pain and felt every single staple she put in.
Finally it was over, I had made it through and I was pushed into recovery.
The clock was in perfect view of my bed and I laid there watching it tick and I swear I saw it start ticking backwards.
I was in recovery for 3 hours while they tried to get my pain under control. I was given the maximum dose of morphine and anything else they could give me. It finally subsided and at 7pm I was taken to see my baby boy.
He was given to me to cuddle and I was so drugged out I hardly remember it. My family came in for a quick visit and it was 9pm when we had our first feed.
I drifted in and out of sleep all night while hubby stayed awake and did everything for the baby. He changed his nappy and snuggled with him while I recovered from my drug haze.
The next day I was feeling ok, I was so determined not to stay in bed I got up to have a shower as soon as they let me. My recovery was slow, but I recovered well and within 10 days we were out shopping and lining up getting Santa photos taken.
After talking to my anaesthetist after the surgery he told me my metabolism was very fast when it came to anaesthetic. The spinal block should have lasted 4-6 hours but for me it lasted less than 2 hours. If there was no waiting time for the theatre than I would have been fine. So next time I need to make sure I am given the spinal block in the theatre, on the table and the doctor is ready to start straight away.
My c-section was not the magical experience I had always wanted the birth of my child to be but at the end of the day my ultimate objective was achieved.
On Friday December 5th 2008 my baby boy Cooper Michael David Lindsay came into this world weighing 7lb 3oz, with 10 fingers and 10 toes.
My baby was healthy and safe and that is what I hold onto today.
Pain I had never felt before, I felt like my insides were being ripped apart and I could feel every stitch my OB was making. I told my anaesthetist this and I felt like I was going to black out. He gave me pain medication and begged me to have a GA. I cried and refused. There was no way I was going to go to sleep, I wanted to see my baby and I didn’t want to spend hours in recovery after a GA.
So god only knows how I did it but for 10 minutes I gritted my teeth, cried in pain and felt every single staple she put in.
Finally it was over, I had made it through and I was pushed into recovery.
The clock was in perfect view of my bed and I laid there watching it tick and I swear I saw it start ticking backwards.
I was in recovery for 3 hours while they tried to get my pain under control. I was given the maximum dose of morphine and anything else they could give me. It finally subsided and at 7pm I was taken to see my baby boy.
He was given to me to cuddle and I was so drugged out I hardly remember it. My family came in for a quick visit and it was 9pm when we had our first feed.
I drifted in and out of sleep all night while hubby stayed awake and did everything for the baby. He changed his nappy and snuggled with him while I recovered from my drug haze.
The next day I was feeling ok, I was so determined not to stay in bed I got up to have a shower as soon as they let me. My recovery was slow, but I recovered well and within 10 days we were out shopping and lining up getting Santa photos taken.
After talking to my anaesthetist after the surgery he told me my metabolism was very fast when it came to anaesthetic. The spinal block should have lasted 4-6 hours but for me it lasted less than 2 hours. If there was no waiting time for the theatre than I would have been fine. So next time I need to make sure I am given the spinal block in the theatre, on the table and the doctor is ready to start straight away.
My c-section was not the magical experience I had always wanted the birth of my child to be but at the end of the day my ultimate objective was achieved.
On Friday December 5th 2008 my baby boy Cooper Michael David Lindsay came into this world weighing 7lb 3oz, with 10 fingers and 10 toes.
My baby was healthy and safe and that is what I hold onto today.
Author ....
Jen is the Editor and owner of Lovely Living. Read her blog - www.lovelyliving.com.au