I have seen so many stay at home Mum’s posting about why they chose to be a stay at home Mum over going to work. I thought I would share my story
After having Master C I suffered post natal depression. I know it was caused by multiple things including birth trauma and I also know it was there before I gave birth. But one of the biggest things that happened after Master C was born was I lost my own identity. I was taken from being an independent and motivated person and plunged into a world where this child was completely reliant on me. I had no time or energy for anything other than feeding, sleeping and changing dirty nappies. For 11 months I struggled to find time for myself, I had no idea who I was anymore.
We traveled to the USA just before Master C’s first birthday, I remember my “uh huh” moment very clearly ….. I was in the bath tub in our beautiful hotel room in New York City. I was reflecting on the past year and asking myself “how can I be sitting in this amazing hotel room, in this amazing city, with such an amazing life and family and still feel like something is missing?”. It then clicked! I had no identity outside of being a Mum. My whole life I have always had goals and dreams, they changed with every new stage of life but I always knew I wanted a career and wanted to achieve something in life. At that moment I realised, being a stay at home Mum just wasn’t for me.
I respect women who love staying at home, I think there is no greater role in life than that of a Mother. But for me it is not in my make up, I am not built to be a stay at home Mum. I am not sure why? I love spending time with my children but I also love the challenges that work gives me. I love having something just for me, something I am building and something my children can be proud of.
As every working Mother knows, Mother’s guilt plagues you daily. Master C attends daycare 3 days a week and sometimes a day extra if the week is super busy. I feel guilty, but I know we both benefit from him attending daycare. I get to work uninterrupted and he gets to have time out and play with his friends. I find it harder because I work from home. I don’t feel people respect your job when you a) work for yourself and b) work from home. People often call in the middle of a work day or drop by wanting to chat for hours. They don’t understand that a work day to me is like any job, I have a lunch break and I work 8am-4pm. I don’t sit around all day having child free time, I actually work!
Finding the right balance between being a Mum and being a business person is hard. At the end of the day my kids come first and I am lucky I can drop everything for them if I need to. If they are sick or if they need Mummy I can stop working for a day or even a week without having to ask a boss for time off or worry about not being paid.
I am so happy in my life and feel complete. I really do have it all! I have an amazing job, a wonderful life and a beautiful family. What more could I ask for?